Affectus-part 2

I dressed my best. It wasn’t that I was meeting him for the first time. I loved dressing for him. I wore his favorite colour-yellow off shoulder top matched with white shorts. I topped that with white strappy sandals. I applied light make up to add some colour on my face. My lips were prominently red. I was ready for a perfect romantic date. But I wasn’t sure that it would be one.

He had invited me to the café. This place was filled with special moments that we shared. It was where we had our first date. Ah that day- how can I not remember?  We were so conscious about ourselves. Shyness and awkwardness had taken over us. But that stayed only for few minutes when he first cracked a joke. This broke the ice between us. He had this charm that thwarted my heart whenever I was mad at him or felt shy to talk to him. He knew the words that I loved to hear. He had perfectly fit into my world. Alas! this was I thought at the beginning. Now I had no clue of what was happening to us.

“ Hi, early bird!” his voice startled my thoughts. He was as usual five minutes late. I looked at him from top to bottom. His dressing sense still didn’t change. Oh lordie! I had tried to change his dressing style in vain. But nothing worked. He remained in his original self and I accepted him as he was. “ So… let’s order something. I am starving!”, he said. I knew he would do this first. I sometimes wonder how does he maintain his tiny waist with his large appetite. We placed a large order for him and I just had a cup of coffee. Unlike him I was very conscious about what I ate.

While having his double cheese burger, he said,” Ummm… I wanted to tell you something.” Ah! That ‘something’ pricked my heart. I hoped it was good ‘something’. Was it marriage on cards? We did spend three years together watching ourselves grow together from good to bad moments. Convincing my parents would piece of cake for me. Or was he asking me to move in with him? This would really need a lot of thinking…

“ Trina, I want to break up with you… Sorry… I don’t think…it’s going anywhere… You need something else and I need something else.”, he said. Break Up! No! I wasn’t listening to him clear. My mouth had become dry. I sucked my lower lip with pain in my heart. I was dumbfounded by what he had said. What did he mean by saying that he and I needed different things in life. Wasn’t relationship between two people based on compromise and acceptance?

I wanted to slap tight on his face. Every part of me wanted to scream ‘Why?’ at him. But I felt tongue tied. He did all the talking. He spoke of our incompatibility and my emotional outbreaks that drove him mad. He spoke of my clinginess, immaturity and ‘no life’ attitude. He bought me down. He broke my soul with words that sounded so strange and new to me. Was I the person he complained about? It looked stranger to me. I didn’t know me anymore. I became deaf to what he said and my tears smudged my eyes. 

(To be continued)