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Thursday, 30 January 2014

Consensual - part 32


" Please don't do this. Think about Veda! She needs family. I am changing . Why don't you see?", he pleaded. I was firm. I wanted out of this relationship that had sucked life out of me.

"I did wait for you to change. Now I am tired. I need to breathe. This marriage is a suffocation to me. Please free me from it.", I said. "Suffocation! Whatever you want to call this, You have full right. I am guilty for what you have been through. But think again. We can work on it.", he begged.

" I can't. I don't have... Never mind! I have decided I want out of this marriage. I can't live with you in this loveless marriage. Anyway I am getting late for work. I need you to sign the papers and this is good for both of us. I want Veda to have a happy childhood without us having to pretend that we have a happy marriage.", I said , trying to sound firm.

I was indulged myself into work. I had enough of this emotional breakdown. Now I had to focus on future. It wasn't that I didn't want Praveen to be a part of Veda's life. But I didn't want him to be part of my life again. I was engrossed into work that I didn't realize my best buddy- Shaunik appear from nowhere. I didn't see him standing quietly staring at me work.

"How long have you been standing there? You didn't even call me.", I asked when I saw him. He stood like a statue and said nothing. I could make out that he wasn't himself. "What's wrong?" , I asked. "Nothing! But I had to share something with you which I was carrying in my heart for so long. If you are free , I would like you to hear me out.", he said with tense smile.

I nodded and asked him to go ahead. What did he want to say?  " (after taking deep breath) The day I met you , I found you so vulnerable and innocent. As I got to know , I understood you as a strong and independent woman. I know what I will tell you now , you may not believe me... I have fallen in love with you.", he said , shocking me every bit. I never expected this. I had always treated him as a friend.

" I ... Am... Sorry ... I don't know how to react in ...such situation. I .. Don't...love.. You", I said, finding difficult to communicate to him. I got up and walked away from him. I had to get away from too much of emotional outpour. I did what Praveen had done few years back. I broke his heart. But I had no choice. These years had made worn out of love. I couldn't give love second chance. Love was never for me. Love will never be for me.

        ******* the end******

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