Consensual - part 5

His expression changed from astonishment to funny one. He laughed like a kid. I stood there , not sure why he was laughing. "Oh my god! Seriously? I don't have any words.", he laughed.

"I didn't understand...", I stammered.  "You wouldn't understand. How will you? You are a kid who believes in fantasy world. This is not love. You are just infatuated, kiddo.", he said.

For a second, I didn't react. It took me few minutes to understand what was happening. My eyes swelled up. I was controlling my emotions. I didn't want to look like a crybaby. I smiled and said, " I know what you mean. I am so dumb that I thought this feeling to be love." He looked at his watch constantly. " I hope you understood what I meant. I have never seen you anything more than just a kid.", he said smoothly.

He left me alone stranded with my emotions. My heart pained. I wanted to cry but I had to control. I locked myself inside my room. These four walls had become my best friend for quite sometime. Somehow it seemed they understood my problems better. I couldn't disclose these heartbreak feelings with my family as they were still in their conventional thinking. I had to bring in my brightest side whenever I was with them.

But I was in serious pain. It had damaged me. I had lost everything that I had. It was difficult for me to cope up with sorrow and grief. More than that it was difficult for me to be different person at different hours. Sometimes I wondered that I may suffer personality disorder.

I couldn't vent my temper on anything. I was burning inside. I had become puppet of my heart. I didn't want to hurt others but in the end I was hurting myself too much.


(To be continued)