What is love? Is it always so demanding and taxing? Maybe I was tied in relationship where I had to give more than I was expected. I had always believed that love made your life easy and beautiful. But I never knew that it would take everything... even the peace and happiness seemed lost in life that I chose for myself.
Did I choose in haste? I had chosen marriage over my desire. It was a union orchestrated by us and our parents only blessed us after we had convinced them that our union was made by God. Oh! I was too dumb to believe that our love was enough to keep us together. Dreadful things happens afterwards. There is always an pause between happiness and grief.
I guess I was too naive to believe he would love me forever till we die. Marriage and love is different things. Love is only an ingredient to keep your marriage going. We were married for five years and still we didn't know each other well enough. Well! It is saying that love develops with years and you learn about someone over years. Unfortunately love was dying between us. There was something between us and we weren't able to find out that missing ingredient.
Maybe it was our difference in taste, lifestyle or desires. I was too simple for him. I didn't qualify anywhere he had desired about his dream girl. I accepted him as he was. I also tried to accept his way of leading life. I thought I had changed for him. Funny! He still mocked me for being the same old college sweetheart who had not grown up. He was miffed at whatever I did from cooking his favorite dish to handling the domestic life.
I.. I never complained for any of his shortcomings. I accepted him wholeheartedly. I didn't care if he was getting grey hair and never bothered to shave his prickly beard. I never complained about him not helping me to do chores after I came home from work. I stayed quiet only because he fulfilled my materialistic needs and stood up for me when others raised their finger at me.
As I thought all this, I didn't see that my coffee had gone cold. However I sipped my coffee. It was tasteless. I spit it out , tainting the crossword puzzle I was solving. "What are you thinking so much?", my sister asked. She had come down to my place for the weekend. " Nothing!", I lied. No one knew or will know what I was going through. I was going to find the solution to this very soon.
(To be continued)
Did I choose in haste? I had chosen marriage over my desire. It was a union orchestrated by us and our parents only blessed us after we had convinced them that our union was made by God. Oh! I was too dumb to believe that our love was enough to keep us together. Dreadful things happens afterwards. There is always an pause between happiness and grief.
I guess I was too naive to believe he would love me forever till we die. Marriage and love is different things. Love is only an ingredient to keep your marriage going. We were married for five years and still we didn't know each other well enough. Well! It is saying that love develops with years and you learn about someone over years. Unfortunately love was dying between us. There was something between us and we weren't able to find out that missing ingredient.
Maybe it was our difference in taste, lifestyle or desires. I was too simple for him. I didn't qualify anywhere he had desired about his dream girl. I accepted him as he was. I also tried to accept his way of leading life. I thought I had changed for him. Funny! He still mocked me for being the same old college sweetheart who had not grown up. He was miffed at whatever I did from cooking his favorite dish to handling the domestic life.
I.. I never complained for any of his shortcomings. I accepted him wholeheartedly. I didn't care if he was getting grey hair and never bothered to shave his prickly beard. I never complained about him not helping me to do chores after I came home from work. I stayed quiet only because he fulfilled my materialistic needs and stood up for me when others raised their finger at me.
As I thought all this, I didn't see that my coffee had gone cold. However I sipped my coffee. It was tasteless. I spit it out , tainting the crossword puzzle I was solving. "What are you thinking so much?", my sister asked. She had come down to my place for the weekend. " Nothing!", I lied. No one knew or will know what I was going through. I was going to find the solution to this very soon.
(To be continued)
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