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Thursday, 26 March 2015

Bed of Roses - Part 2

Problems! Everyone has all sorts of problems. We crib. We get frustrated. We lose hope. We do many things unnecessary and not related to us. We isolate ourselves from the problem but circumstances make us to think over it and find solution. Like everyone, I kept myself inclined to negative thoughts and hopelessness until I found the clue to my puzzle.

The idea struck me when I was watching a movie "Sweet November". It didn't seem similar to my situation. The herione was dying but she left her love only to keep him thinking about happy memories. Well! I certainly wasn't dying. I had no happy memories with him except the one we shared with him. But I wanted to give him something that he could cherish us for years. If this works,he wouldn't complain

I fought against my inner self to come to a conclusion- I was going to find my husband's dream girl. I wasn't going to heaven soon. I was only going to erase my name, presence and memories out of his life. I am sure he will be happy with me gone. Anyway I was a burden to him. He will be relieved from me.

I cried thinking about it. It isn't easy to erase yourself from your love's life. It isn't easy to let your loved one go. It isn't easy at all. I still love him though he doesn't love me anymore. I still can't stay without him though he  can be sometimes pain.

It was toughest decision of my life. I had to make it. I had no choice. I had to free him from such fruitless relationship. I started implementing my plan. The first few days was too difficult. As I developed the plan, I would end up breaking down.

However I would calm my nerves and get back to my plan. I was going to list down the type of girl my husband thought was desirable. I would start searching girls who met those qualities. When I found one , I would bring in situation that could bring them together. Later when everything was set, I would get my husband married.

(To be continued)

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