The Second Chance ? - Part 3

Words speak louder than actions. True! My words spoke louder and also slapped me back. Yes! The wise men did say it right- Never do things when you are drunk. Well! I jumped into a trap I made. I was foolish to break my own heart.

My excitement increased when I spilled my feelings out. I called him. He didn't pick the call. But it didn't hurt me when a female voice spoke," Hi, he isn't here." It hurt me more when I could hear his voice clearly from the background. He was talking about me, " Ah! That girl again! I don't understand why is she so clingy?" I was disappointed. I shouldn't have done all this drama to hear him say that.

Disappointment and heartbroken, I continued with the party. I pretended I was alright. But I wasn't deep inside. I truly loved him. But it was my mistake I didn't let it go of my feelings for him. He was still special for me.

I fell down. I got up. I rubbed  the dirt out off my soiled soul. I continued with my life with a broken heart. I concentrated on other relationships ,career and writing. Though first two didn't help in erasing my pain. But writing was medicine to my wounded heart.

Pressure in work, relationship breakdown and depression was common to me. It didn't hurt me. I was unaffected by them. I kept myself busy with life. I didn't wanted to get involved with thoughts about him.

Life had become boring and monotonous. Nothing amazed me. I didn't enjoy life like I used to.  I was like a zombie. My mum smelled something fishy going on with me. So did the whole family.



(To be continued)

The Second Chance ?- Part 2

He left us for good. My life took a pause. I started to stay away from people. I loved long lonely walks to places unknown. I started writing poems about unrequited love. Words poured out in form of stories or poems. People liked it. But they didn't understand the pain.

Sad songs became part of my life. I made sure my silent cries were unheard.The pause was only for few months. As soon as I graduated and got my first job, I got busy with work. New friends came in and my life was back to normal. There were days when I would think about him. I would call those days as blue days.

I hid my pain inside my heart for two years. I searched for him in men I met. I searched for him in my friends I made. I couldn't find him anywhere. I would snoop around his pictures in Facebook.

He was happy with his new found friends. The USA became his new found love. He seemed to enjoy life unlike me. Obviously he had no idea about my secret admiration for him. I would think if he ever got to know how much I loved him, would he stay for me? Then my conscious would scold me for being too unrealistic. Why would he ever leave his ambitions for me?

On new years eve, I made the biggest mistake. I shouldn't have. I should have listened to my conscious that was preventing me to make that mistake. Why? Oh Why did I listen to my heart? It all started when my friends and I planned for new year (only girls) party at a club. I was totally excited with idea of getting drunk. That was first mistake I did. We danced and got drunk.

It was first time I got drunk. My mind was blurred. My heart was beating faster. I didn't know what I was doing. I opened my Facebook app on my phone. I checked the messenger and saw he was online. I pinged him without thinking the consequences. "You have forgotten me. But I haven't.", I messaged him. There was no reply. I felt my whole body shiver. What was doing? Anyway I felt excited and cool.

(To be continued)