Affectus-part 3

My whole world had crashed. The dreams of bright future that I had knitted in my mind were torn apart. The surroundings looked hazy in front of these tensions. The music that was playing in the background didn’t suit my mood. People around me looked so happy except me. How could he say that? I had tried every single day to save our relationship. Doesn’t he want us together? Didn’t he share same dreams as mine? Where were those promises of ‘being there for you forever’?

“ Hey , what happened? I hope you don’t take this to your heart. I mean I know we have grown apart over the years. Hell ! We were so young when we were in love. By the way, that love was just infatuation. Nothing more!”, he said casually.  How could he just say that our love was infatuation? Maybe it wasn’t for him. But it was more to me. I had shared everything to him-my life and soul. Yeah! We had grown apart. But love..never!! I still loved him too much. Wait a minute! Was he tired of me? Did he meet someone?  

“ So who is that girl?” I asked him directly, trying to control my emotional outburst. He looked stunned at me as if I caught him red handed. “ Ummm… ummm… there is no…I mean I met somebody.”, he said the truth innocently. “ All the best! Be happy! Don’t break her heart like how you did to me. Goodbye.”I said , knowing nothing else to say. I left him confused. I knew what he was thinking. He probably thought why I didn’t blurt out. I was known for my wild tempers. But what was the use of screaming at a person who was not coming back.

I didn’t cry or react during the whole journey. The dark grey clouds were forming inside my heart. Negative voice abused me with all sorts of words. It made guilty for falling into love. Within few minutes after this unfortunate happening, I stopped believing in love. 

I reached home almost in tears. I hurried to my room without having anybody asking me for reason for those tears. I played loud music to confuse my parents into thinking that I was normal. Sadly! I wasn’t normal. My heart was broken. My soul was shattered into pieces. I cried uncontrollably. All I wished was that he changed his mind and followed me to tell me that he would never break my heart again. This was never going to happen. 

I sat next to the dressing table. I stared hard at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t recognize me. All of sudden I felt so ugly about myself. In fit of rage, I smashed the mirror with a vase kept aside the table. Did he leave me due to my appearance? Was I really ugly? I had no answer for this. 

(To be continued)