Mi amor-part 2

The driver was a tough looking guy. He had already gone out of his car and marched towards us. But before he could grab the hold of Shaggy’s color. He drove the  vehicle to maximum limit.

He was greeted with warm welcome by my family. He had charmed my family with his happy go lucky attitude ( I don’t know where he gets that. I am hundred percent sure that it was not from his family’s genes. I once visited his family. Contrary to his flamboyant nature, they were more reserved and conservative.) He instantly became a part of the family.

“So when are you giving me the grand tour of the city? I have not come here to sit all day long.”, he said. Twenty four hours had passed since he had come. He was no longer jet lagged. “ Where do you get that energy from?” I asked. “ Come on you lazy bump! I don’t have time to answer all of your questions.”, he said and dragged me out of my bed.

Ah! I had to carry a history literature books with me to explain him every places and it’s significance. Why , how and what was his infamous questions for which I had no answer. He made me look like the founder of 

my city.

At last we halted at the café. I was dead tired of answering his nonsensical questions. Thank god! He didn’t 

ask the history behind the existence of the café. So we ordered for sandwiches and lemonade- a perfect combo to relive us from heat emitted from the sun.

“ So what next?”,he asked. “ Aren’t you tired?” I replied back. “ No … the day isn’t over. What about the
night life?”he said. “Oh lord! Do you want to see everything today itself? Let’s go slowly.”, I said calmly. He nodded his hand forcefully like a child who has been forbidden to buy a candy.

I wished for the hours to go slowly. But it didn’t. I saw Shaggy,the grown up child jumping around me during the evening. “ It’s still 4 pm. All the clubs and discs are only open by 8.”I said. He kept quiet for some time and pulled my hand all of a sudden.

It wasn’t still 8 and more than 15 minutes were left for the club Enigma to open. I kept complaining to him about his stupidity in not listening to me. We stood in front of the club looking like beggars. The security guard took pity on us and let us inside the club.

Few hours had passed when he asked me a question, “Are you ok? You are not yourself from past few days.” “ What makes you think I am not myself?” I asked back. “You used to love being outdoors. Here I find you so confined to your solitary life. You keep complaining about going out.”, he said, sounding concerned about my well being. This stunned me.

Did I really stopped liking outdoors? Did I enjoy being alone? Why do I feel so irritated when he said that I confined myself to solitary life? What was the cause of all these feelings? I had no answer for all this questions. It was wandering around my head like the scavangers.

(To be continued)

Mi Amor-part 1

The airport was busy as usual. There were many people walking in and out of the airport. I stood with a crowd of people waiting for their closed one or strangers or whoever it is coming out of the ‘arrival’ entrance. An hour had passed since my friend called. He had said that he was at the baggage counter. 

Where was he?  Ah ! These customs stuff! They are so time consuming activities. It’s a era of technology. I don’t understand why they use the usual manual check ups when there are detectors that can do these mundane jobs.

“ Hey Lee!” he waved his hand and called out my name. Ah! My devilish friend had arrived at last. I gave him a huge hug. “ So Mr. Shaggy, how was your flight?” I asked. “ Not the usual boring and long! Fortunately I had a hot and sexy lass in my company…”, he started rattling a tale of his so called hot co passenger.  These guys I tell you! They only care about sports and hot girls. When we chide them about their habit, they would blame us for being too jealous.

Mr Shaggy a.k.a Santino Lopez had been my best buddy since the time I moved to California. We didn’t share good rapport when I first met him. He seemed to be a snob. But one stupid incident bought two different poles together. My name was misspelled from Leelavati to Lee due to one of college administrator’s mistake. That one mistake had changed my gender and I had to share the room with Shaggy in boy’s hostel for a week until I was shifted. Thus this started our journey towards the beautiful friendship.

Now we had decided to spend vacation at my place.  Well ! I never wanted to come  back to India for some reason. However Shaggy’s pestering need to come to my country took a toll on me. I had to say yes to be his tour guide.

As we reached the parking spot, he snatched my car keys. “ Let me drive!”, he said. I gave him a disgusted look. “ But this isn’t America! People drive from every corner.”, I said. He ignored me and simply started the engine.

We were on the road within minutes. He was speeding even after I asked him to drive safely. He didn’t pay any heed to my advice. He didn’t look at the vehicle coming from the other side and took a screeching turn. Unfortunately the car ended banging the other vehicle. I gave him a ‘told you so ‘ look. He hadn’t stepped out on the grounds of India and there he was, already in trouble.

(To be continued) 

Crushed-part 5

I stared with bewilderment at her father and couldn’t believe what he just said now,“ She has decided to go for  group study with her friends. I don’t know what is wrong with her. It was so much better when you were teaching her. Oh! I don’t know who induced her to do group study. Never mind! Anything is fine unless she is studying. Hope you don’t feel bad.”

I nodded, assuring him that I didn’t feel bad. But I felt bad deep inside my heart. I knew the reason of her well planned ‘group study’. She did read the letter and now she was avoiding me. Many days had passed since that incident and she didn’t reply back. This meant that she never treated me like as I did.

I was heartbroken- I knew this would happen before I fell in love. But love is something that makes you follow impossible dreams. It manipulates your heart with beautiful lies. In the end, you end up with disillusion sight of everything in life.

I tried to divert my mind towards work and mundane things in life. I would stay out till wee hours in the night. Initially my mother became too anxious about my daily outings. She would scold and accuse me for my indifferent behaviour. But I would emotionally blackmail her that I was doing this for the bright future of the family.

Preeti had pushed me out of her life. She would preoccupy herself at her room whenever I came to her house. Her innocent dad would give various reasons for her absence. I had heard from my mother that Preeti was keeping unwell for past few days. She had reduced her weight drastically since I last saw her. Everyone around her blamed her ill health on the academic pressure. But  I knew the real reason behind her sickness. I had to do something to keep her from worrying about us.

Finally an opportunity came at my doorstep. I was called by an eminent personality in wildlife photography to be his intern. I grabbed it after too much thought on it. I didn’t want to get away from her. But I had no other option. I had to get away from her in order to help her come out of this mess.

************** 10 Years later*********

I was surprised that she hadn’t forgotten me. I saw her with same gleaming eyes. She looked more beautiful than she was at her blossoming years. She stood next to her husband while she was being congratulated for the new life. “ Hi Rahul anna, I am so pleased to see you here.”, she said. For the first time I didn’t feel the pain. I was happy with the decision I made that time. Maybe my heart did heal within these years. Maybe I fell out of love with her. Maybe it was called growing up. Whatever it was called, I was happy that we had moved on with her lives.

**************  The end***************

Crushed -part 4

Atlast I was done with the impossible task-writing a letter. I could recall the words I had written after redrafting it many times.  The words were like this:

“ Dearest Preeti

I know what you would do after you have read the letter. You would probably not want to see me. You have given me respect and loved me like a brother. But I never considered you one since the day I first saw you. How could I forget that day? You were waiting for the bus with your friends. I felt my whole word turn 

upside down when I saw your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile.

I know you are quite young for all this. You are not mature enough to understand all this. But I am ready to wait until you are old enough.

You must be wondering why am I telling you all this. I don’t have answer for this. I don’t know why am I writing this. But I feel that you should know how I feel about you. I don’t want to scare you. I am not forcing you into any relationship. I just want to be close to you. I always want the good for you. So it’s your choice to accept my love or ignore me.

But you will always be in my heart irrespective of any decision you make. You  are the sweetest thing that ever happened in my life. I will always love you.

Hope you don’t neglect your studies because of all this. I want you focus on your studies. As I said I always want good for you, you can come to me for any advices. I am ready to help you. Hope this doesn’t change anything between us.

Love

Rahul”

A dilemma began on how to hand the letter to her. I had scrapped all the ways of delivering the letter. If I had handed it through her friend, she would be a hot topic for gossip for girls. Obviously I couldn’t hand it to her father! So I had to give it to her directly. But whenever I tried to give her the letter, I would develop a cold feet.

One fine day I was in hurry. I had to visit my friend who was admitted in the hospital. I had planned to give her a test on algebra. I quickly handed her question paper with all trust on her that she wouldn’t copy when I was away. I wasn’t very far when I realised that I had given the letter instead of the question paper. I hurried to her house. But it was too late.

(To be continued)

Crushed -part 3

I looked at my geeky self in the mirror.  Love was written all over my face. I tried to compose myself. But whenever I tried that, my deepest feelings would surface on my face. How was I going teach her? What if she reads my deepest emotions and feelings during the course?  My heart pulled me back from going. But I had given my word to my landlord.

I was right on time at their place. “ Hi son! I am so glad you came. She will be here in a minute.”, my landlord greeted me with a big smile. “Preeti”, he called out her name. My conscious screamed loudly that it was a mistake coming here. My heart beat slowly with every passing minute.

There she was dressed in casual tee and jeans. She looked pretty even in her plain Jain attire. “ Hi, I am Rahul” I said softly. “Hi… I know”, she said shyly, her eyes bent down. “Ok kid! You can keep yourself comfortable. Let me know if you need something, Rahul.”, landlord said.

“ So where do we start? Algebra or geometry! I heard you hate Math.”, I said trying to sound calm. She nodded yes. “ Ok… let’s start with easiest. Which one do you find easy?” I asked. “Geometry..I love the diagrams.”, she said.  We started with geometry with easiest problems first and then slowly to difficult ones.

She was amazingly smart and quick learner too.  Beauty with brains!  Every day I got to know something new about her. She was mystery revealing new colours daily.

I knew she treated me with respect and seen a brother in me. But my feelings for her was different …special. It was something more. I had to express it someway. I decided to write a letter.

It took me days to draft a letter that expressed my feelings. I felt it was the dumbest thing I ever did. I started writing. I didn’t know how to start. Should I begin with dearest or simply her name-Preeti?  What should I say? Should I say that her beautiful eyes and innocent face had captured my heart? Wouldn’t it sound a bit romantic? I had wasted around fifteen pages to write one simple letter.

(To be continued)

Crushed-part 2

 It was Diwali – time for celebration and happiness. However it didn’t bring any happiness except my fear closer to me.

I was sitting at the worn out leather sofa, staring at my dream girl. She happened to be the daughter of my landlord. She was serving lemonade and homemade sweets.  As she served me, I struggled to hold it. My hands became sweaty and shivering. This was the first time I was so nervous. I didn’t look at her beautiful brown eyes because I was so focused on calming down myself.

Gosh! Fear ruins even the sweetest moments of our life. I was so close to her and I couldn’t speak to her. 

Why? I was scared… I was scared that my true feelings would surface on my face. I didn’t want her to think I was desperate.

We were there for an hour. But that hour seemed to pass very slowly. I looked at my watch continuously. It seemed like as if I had an urgent appointment. “ Are you getting late for some meeting, Rahul anna?”, she asked. What! Did I hear right? She called me ‘Anna’? I wasn’t that old. I was ..maybe five or six years elder to her. I nodded my head left to right , suggesting no. My tongue was tied and words stayed deep inside my heart. We bid them goodbye and visited the next house.

I would always meet her due to coincidence. It was not that I wanted to be close to her. I tried my best to stay away from her. But God had other plans for me. He would use his magic wand and make me meet her in some way.

I was walking home from playing cricket with my friends. I saw a car stop by and driver (none other than my landlord) peeping out of the window of the car. “ Hi! Come inside, son. I am taking same route to home.”, he said.  I hopped into his car.

We started chatting about life and everything else. I didn’t expect that my landlord had interesting personality behind his cold exterior. I learnt something valuable- Never judge a book from its cover. I discovered his fun loving personality from our conversation. His advices on life seemed so simple and clear.

“ So… I heard you were good in math and science. I was thinking about you helping my daughter in these areas. She’s not weak. But she seems to be disinterested in them. So a bit of help is needed to make her focus on them. Could you help her?”, he asked out of blue.

Teaching! I did teach my friends and few from my old neighbourhood. But I don’t think I could teach her. I wanted to say no. But I blurted out ‘yes’. My fear to say ‘no’ had landed me into trouble.

(To be continued) 

Crushed-part 1

I was crushed by love when I first saw her. She was at the bus stand waiting for the bus like any other school girls. She was no more than fifteen. But she looked mature for her age. Her innocent chocolate brown eyes gleamed with pride. Her face was perfectly round like an orange. She had long and shiny black hair that swayed as she moved. Her lips curved into a smile at every joke of her friends.

Ah! Was this love? I never believed in love at first sight. But her demure personality was attracting me. I felt like an honey bee , thirsty for the nectar of the flower.

“ Rahul! Are you dreaming again? Get your ass here and help me to carry these luggage!” my brother shouted. I quickly got out of my temporary numbness caused by this sweet feeling. I walked up to my brother and helped him to carry his bags.

We were moving into a new locality. My brother wanted us to move into good neighborhood before travelling to London for work. I had no responsibility till now. My brother and mother solely took care of the family. Suddenly I was given duty to take care of the family as my mother was aging and brother was leaving.

Few days had passed. We were getting used to the new environment. We stayed at the first floor of the two storey house while our landlord were staying at the ground floor. Everything was going smooth. However I felt that something was missing. I blamed it on my dependency on my brother. I was not used to him not being around. Later I realized it wasn't about my brother. It was that girl. I missed looking at her. I hadn't seen her for many days since I first saw her.

But I controlled my feeling. I didn't know her name or where she stayed or who she was. How could I develop feelings for a stranger? Why I was yearning for someone whom I didn't know…who didn't know I existed.

A first glance at her had triggered such feelings. I wondered what it would be like if I saw her daily. I feared that it might crush me more.

(To be continued)