O' Suzzanna - Part 1

Jacob watched the crowd madly call his name from his stage. He loved their screams and excitement to watch him perform. But that didn't give him adrenaline rush to perform. It was 'Suzzanna' who gave him inspiration.  He name was more than enough to give him butterflies in his tummy and heart beat go faster. He had never met her or seen her. She had always remained in his dreams. After performing many years, he had almost lost hope to find Suzzanna.

Like always he searched the crowd for his Suzzanna while he began to play his guitar. She was not there. His heart broke. His mind wandered to thoughts of whether he would get a slight glimpse of the girl in his imagination and whether he would win his friend Sue's challenge. 'O Suzzanna, Are you just my imagination or real? " he sang the first line of the song while the crowd cheered.

                          ******  14 Years Back ******

It was hot summer morning. Little Jacob sat on floor with his cursive writing book. He watched his favorite cartoon 'Tom and Jerry' on TV while he practiced the alphabets in cursive handwriting as asked by his mother. He laughed momentarily whenever he watched Tom being thrashed by Jerry. His mother was busy preparing food for catering business which she started with her friend. 

The phone rang. Jacob didn't pick up. He waited for his mom to pick. After two rings, his mom rushed to pick. She briefly scolded Jacob and then spoke, "Hey Sheena. I was busy in the kitchen." Jacob ignored his mother and watched the commercial. Ad commercials never interested him. But this one was different. It was a Rasna ad. A girl of same age as him sat on small bench with juice. She was pretty and the way she said 'I love you, Rasna.' made him blush. 

He wanted to know what was her name. As he was deciding what her name would be, his mother spoke animatedly on the phone, "Suzzanna! That's a nice name." Jacob immediately liked the name and wrote it on his book - Suzzanna. He didn't pay attention to latter part of his mother conversation with Sheena where she congratulated her for her brother's wedding. His mother finished the call and walked towards him. She saw 'Suzzanna' written on the book and asked, "Suzzanna! How do you know her?" "She is my girlfriend.", he said, beaming with smile. His mother gently brushed his hair and smiled at her child's innocence.

(To be continued)

Pause and Resume - Part 12

Dina rang the bell when there was no response to the knock. She rang the bell again. There was no response again. She took a look at the watch. It was 6 pm. "Ah! Wrong time. Wrong place. I should have headed towards the office.", she wondered. She took the elevator to reach the ground floor. She admonished herself for being too self centered.

The elevator reached the ground floor. She waited for the door to open. Her heart skipped when the door opened. It was him. Both were numb. She neither expected him to be here nor did he. Both were surprised. As the door was about shut close, he bought his hand in between instantly to stop the door. She got outside.

While she headed towards the car, he held her hand. "Aren't you stopping by?", he asked. She turned back to meet his eyes . She was already crying. "I don't know. You didn't say anything.", she said weeping. The words were inaudible but he was able to understand. "Do I need to? It's your house too.", he said as he came closer to her.

"Stay. Don't go. I need you. I love you", he said gently brushing his lips on her head. "I love you too.", she said, hugging him tightly. They sealed their heart and headed to their floor. They didn't speak the whole night. They stayed closer, cuddled together.

The next morning was bright and warm. The house suddenly became home to them. Everything seemed perfect. She woke him up with hot breakfast coffee and yellow sticky note containing sorry and a smiley written in red lipstick. He smiled at her as he sipped the coffee.

"I am sorry. I should have understood your pain.", she said. "No! Why do you need to apologize. I was being mean to you. I shouldn't have put my frustration on you.", he said. "But I ruined your image in front of everyone. I was too childish.", she argued. "I deserved it. I should have argued with Nitin. He had no right to speak ill about you.", he reasoned. "But I am wrong. Let me apologize. I will feel much better if I say sorry.", she disagreed. "There you start again. I am saying you don't have to apologize.", he asserted. "What do you mean I started again? Wait! Do you mean that I was wrong?", she complained and left the room. He followed her, stating his arguments. A war had ended between them to start again.



                                                ***** The end *****

Pause and Resume - Part 11

When Amit rang the bell, the house helped opened the door. As he was guided to the main hall, he felt like outsider. The posh atmosphere of house made him feel out of place. He regretted coming here. He hesitantly sat on plush sofa when the helper said that his mother in law would come to see him in few minutes.

He tapped his feet on the floor to overcome his restlessness. What was he going to say? He didn't seem to find the words. He was nervous about what his mother in law would say or ask. He felt miserable to break her daughter's heart. "Would she accuse me of mistreating her daughter?", he wondered.

He gulped when he saw her. She was smiling at him. There was no sign of accusation expression on her face. That confused him. He got up and touched her feet as token of respect. She gently brushed his hair and said, "You don't need to do this formality. You are like my son." He rose back to normal stature. "I am sorry for whatever I have caused to Dina, you and Dad.", he said.

Mother smiled and said, " You haven't done anything bad. Yes, you have caused unnecessary pain to Dina and yourself. But other than that there are no complaints from my side." He smiled weakly at her and said,"Where is Dina?", he asked softly. "Oh I was waiting for this day. You are here to take her? ", she said not answering his question and expressing her happiness.

"Yes. I am here to take her as well as apologize for whatever I have done to her. But where is she?", he asked. "Oh dear! I completely forgot. She headed towards your place to meet you.", she replied. He stared at her for few minutes. Then  he ran towards the car without saying anything to his mother in law.

He drove as fast as he could toward home. He missed few signals, almost got caught by traffic police and almost collided with another vehicle. He didn't stop until he reached where he should be.

(To be continued)

Pause and Resume - Part 10

Life was standstill for both of them. They were completely absorbed in each other's thought. They were non existent to people. They were only bodies without soul. Their soul and heart was with each other respectively. Still they didn't understand that their happiness lied on coming back to each other. Everyone around them understood that but they failed to understand.

It was pleasant evening. Dina and her mother were having light chat with tea in the garden. They spoke about weather, shopping, boutique, movies and finally about Dina's life. The conversation was light initially with her mother pulling her leg. Suddenly it became deep. "So what are you going to do with Amit? Are you planning to separate?", her mother asked sarcastically. The words hit where it should have hit- Dina's heart.

She was pained by mother's words."Why do you ask? Why will I leave him?", she cried. "You don't meet him. You don't talk to him. You don't fight with him. You don't do anything with him. It's been four months that you are staying away from him. He hasn't even come to console you nor you have not gone to convince him. It's like as if he doesn't exist.", her mother said , leaving her to fend herself.

Her mother was right. She had neither tried her part to convince him to get back nor he had asked her to come back. They were fighting each other instead of resolving their differences. She scolded for all the events that took place. She felt childish to go to his office and fight in front of everyone to prove her point. She should have understood him. She had made a terrible mistake and she planned to rectify it.

Amit thought about Dina as usual. In past few months, he had missed her. He felt miserable for not giving her enough time. He had put all his effort in sustaining his job but failed in his own marriage. He had decided. He would get her back. He would withstand her anger and complaints. He would not give up on their relationship.

Next day arrived early. The sun shined brightly. Amit and Dina were determined to get their relationship on track. They got ready for their mission. Amit drove towards Dina's house while Dina traveled to Amit's house which was once hers too. Amit stood at Dina's mansion, thinking what he should say while Dina prayed for everything to go well outside his house.

(To be continued)

Pause and Resume - Part 9

A week passed by. They hadn’t called each other. They didn’t even speak to each other. She watched her phone one last time for the day. She  tossed it away in act of disappointment.  She brushed her hair  gently , thinking about him. "Did he ever loved me?", she wondered.

He replayed the sweet memories they shared with mixed emotion. He had distanced himself from friends and everyone who mattered in his life. His life now  revolved around work, home and memories. He longed for his wife to come back. But he was hesitant to convince her to come back.

She decided to spend some time on sharpening her culinary skills. She stared blankly at the jars on the shelves in the kitchen.  Her mom arrived to fetch some snacks. “Do you need something?”, her mother asked disturbing her train of thoughts. “ No , I wanted to cook something. But I m clueless about what to cook.”, she replied. Her mother said, “How about Chinese ? You love Chinese food.”
“Hmmm. I was thinking about dal fry. Amit loves dal fry I prepare.”, Dina said instantly and then later regretting about what she said.

Her mom smiled.  “You miss him. Why don’t you speak to him?”, she asked gently. Dina ignored her question and got back to cooking. Her mom didn’t press the matter and left her alone. She did miss him. But she was angry. She wanted to forgive me and let go. But the thought of ‘ what if he repeated his mistake again?’ bothered her again.

Amit wished that things were better. He had too much expectation from his job. He had thought that he could give the best life to her with the promotion. He had worked tirelessly to provide better life for her. He wished she understood him. He wished she supported his endeavour. But she left him when he needed her badly.

Another month passed. Both of them were restless. But they were reluctant to do anything. Both of them wanted apology. Both of them thought they were right. Both of them were guided by their respective egos. Both of them had expectations from each other. But none wanted to give up their stand for sake of others.

(To be continued)

Pause and Resume - Part 8

He hadn't forgotten the day's debacle. He had seen the pain and anger in her eyes. He wished he could change things. He contemplated of avoiding the event by saying something that time instead standing quietly. But past cannot be changed. He wanted to do so many things. He wanted to thrash Nitin for saying such a thing. He wanted to go back to Dina and kneel down in front of her, begging for forgiveness. But he couldn't do that. He didn't have courage. 

He sat looking at the small table clock with an urge to throw the clock from the desk. But he refrained. He had already dragged attention of people to his personal life and now he didn't want to be tagged as temperamental person. He immediately took his phone and left the office after informing his boss that he was sick. He drove aimlessly on the wide road. 

After driving for hours, he had not realized that he had reached Dina's house. He had remembered the days of their courtship when he would wait tirelessly for her in front of her house. He stared at the large gate of the house, deciding whether or not to visit her. Later he decided against visiting her and drove back home.

Dina couldn't focus at work. She thought constantly about him. She wondered what he thought about her or did anything she said mattered to him.  She felt weak instead of feeling triumphed for tarnishing his image in office. She felt she overreacted. She took break from work after not being able to concentrate. She visited the nearest flower shop and bought a bouquet with apology card.  

She then traveled home after bargaining with several autos and cabs.  When she reached, she simply stared. She sat in auto for minutes before the driver asked for the fare. She replied that she had changed her plans and  guided the auto driver to her parental house . The auto driver gleamed with happiness for the profit he made on the trip. 

Amit's car had almost passed her auto in midst of their way. Unfortunately they didn't see each other. They were deep into their thoughts. As soon as she reached her house, she silently walked towards her room. She locked her room without seeing that her mother called her for some tasks. She cried unstoppingly. Her mother understood and muttered to herself, " Youth nowadays don't understand love. I can see that she loves him madly. She doesn't understand that she is causing pain to her as well as him for small issue. I won't say anything. She will realize this one day."

(To be continued)

Pause and Resume - Part 7

Dina strolled towards the reception of her husband's office. She wore white formal suit with pearl necklace. Her white attire dissimulated with the dark emotions in her heart. She was ready to rip apart her opponent. She asked the petite receptionist for her husband. After short call, she asked her to wait.

He arrived with calm exterior covering the disturbed mind. "Why was she here? Is she going to ask for forgiveness?", he wondered. But his heart knew that it was not the case.  His heat beat loudly with every step he took.  Finally, he stood next to her. He was unaware of the level of fury she had within her. She glared at him for few minutes and then bursted out the anger.

"Am I a control freak?", she lashed out. Amit stared at her with loss of words. He sneaking watched his corners to see if people were looking at them. There were few of onlookers but others were  minding their own business. "Calm down. Why don't we discuss this later?", he said, trying hard to distract her attention. "Don't ssh me! Why should we discuss this later? You didn't care when your friend called me control freak in front of everyone.", she said ironically.

Amit watched her with confusion. He wondered what she was talking about. After minutes of recollecting where he had heard someone using the word control freak, he remembered yesterday's fateful night. He realized his blunder. He scolded himself for at least checking his phone before opening the door. "You had to receive the call yesterday. What a luck?", he thought aloud. Immediately he bit his tongue for saying those words. But it was too late.

"Wow! Look at you! You are not even sorry. You are only thinking about why I took the call. Do you even care that how much pain I am going through? What would you understand about pain? You were enjoying yesterday. Friends and party. I am not even having fun here. I am only thinking about us. Your friends call me names and you don't even take my side. You take part with them and make fun of me. You know what! I had enough. You enjoy your life. I will not be there to control you.", she said.

By now there were many onlookers watching them and enjoying the scene. She walked towards the exit, bent down like lost warrior. She had not seen the 'caution wet floor' cone on the way. She stumbled on it, spraining her feet. She yelped. He rushed towards her but she helped herself up. She turned back, growling at him, "I won't come back."  Her words stung him reminding of the past. When he first met her, she was walking cautiously on pointed heels she wore for the first time. She looked lovely in red summer dress. Before she could reach him, she had stumbled down. He had rushed to her, helping her to stand. And there, they had fallen in love.

(To be continued)