Summertime Sadness- Part 7

He was in pain. His eyes said it all. Pain! Miserable! Havoc! None of the words could best describe what he was going through. She could see it . She could also feel it. But she couldn't help him. She was tied to her own emotions that made her feel not ready to accept any relationship.

He didn't give up. He still waited for her. He never gave up the hope of having her in his life. He didn't mind to be her friend. She had ignoring him. Her silence was torturing his heart. But he had become immune to it.

He waited and waited. But she never came back. She was still recovering from the disbelief. It wasn't an issue. Was she overacting? But he was a friend.. close friend whom she treated and loved him as a friend. She never had such feelings for him. However it was difficult to accept the truth though she wasn't affected by the way he said.

She couldn't see this. His pain was affecting her as a friend. As a friend, she couldn't see him in pain. He was there when she needed the most. He also stayed when she was the cause of him leaving the place. But now when he needed her the most, she couldn't be there.

She saw him waiting for her to give answer though he knew the answer. "Why does he love me so much when he knows I can't give the same?", she wondered. She wished she could accept him without anything holding her back. But she had already committed to somebody else. She couldn't break it for her friend.

Love is strange. It had broken their wonderful friendship. It had become a third fiddle in their relationship. When the desires of two souls in the relationship becomes different, it causes tear in relationship and the distance between them become more with each tear of the string that connects them.



(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness- Part 6

Love is limitless but it wasn't in his case. She was limit to his love for her. If he told her, she might leave him. Now it was impossible for him to even forget what he had for her. Whenever he tried, his fear berated him as loser.

The rationale mind taunted him. How could he possible think that spilling out his feeling would heal his pain? How foolish he could be to think that it would be mend his heart? In a whole, it would break one and only true friendship he would treasure. But wouldn't it break him inside if he didn't tell the truth? He hadn't done any sin in loving her. If she was his true friend, she would understand his love.

It was now or never. He didn't care about the outcome. He knew the outcome would be terrible. He had made up his mind to say those words that won't affect their friendship. He had to be careful...very careful.

At last he disclosed the truth. He had found the right opportunity to speak to her. She was alone and no one was there to distract them. They were the only ones to leave her uncle's food station. " You know the reason of me leaving this place few days back? It was love.. It was love for you.. I love you but you don't love me that way. But it's okay. I can stay like this, cherishing our friendship.", she said. 

She was stunned and didn't want to believe. She always had doubt that he had crush on her. But she never took it seriously. She had liked him for his simple nature. She didn't feel bad when he had said that he loved her. But she still couldn't digest this fact.

She left him without saying a single word. She didn't look back. She stayed away from him. She needed time to accept it but she didn't tell him. He suffered due to her silence. He felt he made a sin for falling in love with her. 

(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness - Part 5

He was lost and couldn't take it anymore. He had to get away from her. Being with her was torture to his soul. It was weird that being with her would be so impossible. He was becoming lovesick every day , just by glancing at her.

Leaving her was the best option. She was not going to be part of his life. She like the others was guest for few days in his life. He had to leave the city. He had to leave his friends, family and memories. This was the only remedy to his wounded heart. 

He was ready to leave everything. He was ready to leave the place that had nurtured him from the time he had stepped into this world. But now it had become impossible to stay. He had tried to stay far from her but she did something that even leaving was impossible.

Her sweet words , baby face and her doe eyes were enough to stop him. She made him stop by making him promise on their friendship, " If you promise to stay, then I promise to never follow you like a crazy puppy.". Thus he left the thought of leaving her forever. She asked him, " So tell me, why did you want to leave?" 

He had no words to say. How was he going to say that she was the reason to leave. But he didn't understand why did she stopped him? She was different. Maybe he was over thinking too much. Maybe she only treated him as a friend. Maybe his heart was not ready to accept the truth that she was just a friend.

Love was impossible. It didn't leave him. Every time he believed that she was a friend, his heart would dismiss this fact. He couldn't stay away even if he wanted to. He wished love was not that complicated. He wished he could disclose his heart felt feelings to her. But that never happened ever.

(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness - Part 4

At last she spilled out the heart out to him. The mention of that damn person name who was the cause of her mood swings had brought the first scratch in his heart. Her words had stabbed him bad. He knew that pretty girls like her were never single. But his heart never gave up.

It jolted him. Every time she mentioned his name, it pinched his heart. " Mark, I don't know why do I love him so much when I know he is not the right one. He treats me well while taunting me of being popular. Is it wrong to be loved by many?". she said with tear eyed. 

He whispered softly, " No" and hugged her. While he consoled her, there was no one to console his heart. Suddenly happiness had escaped from his life without any trace. Sacrifice and failed relationships became part of his life. He had gotten used to such life. Sacrifice was a common word in his life.

It was hard to digest. Knowing that your love would never be yours hurts. She was normal following days but he was not normal. Mark was getting tired being the doormat. So he started to stay far from her.

Whatever it was, now she was over it. She hardly spoke about love. But Mark's weird behavior was not understandable to her. She was still unaware about what he felt for her. His way of distancing himself from her troubled her. She had to find the reason of his cold behaviour towards him.

Vultures of failure doomed his soul. His inner self shouted slogans of loser at him. Even the words of wisdom from friends and family seemed like thorns to him. He wanted to stay away from everyone. He was becoming a loner to the world who knew him.

(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness- Part 3

The love is one of the most difficult emotions that is hard to express and hide. It seeps through eyes of a lover for his beloved. He wished she could feel his sweet love. Was his love invisible for her to see? Did she pretend to play with his heart? No, it can't be. She may be bold but not too bold to manipulate with his heart.

He had two ways- either leave or be patient. His time was not up yet. Everything happened at right time. Now, it was too early for him to disclose his secret. He wasn't still sure that he wanted her though every part of his sould and body screamed out her name.

The dreams about her were like fairtale. They were not real. They would disappear as soon as sun rays touched his eyelids while the alarm woke him from the unrealistic imaginations. The most unrealistic dream he ever had was they sitting on the park, smiling at the past without the worries of the future. 

She hadn't spoken to him for few days. This was unlike her personality. She sat aloof, doing her work silently. Whenever he tried to say hi, her respone would only be a smile or she would ignore him completely. What was wrong with her? Did she get to know the truth? Will she distance herself from him?

Such questions pestered him like swarm of bees. They stung his heart. Everyday she would ignore him like as if he was nothing. Everyday he would break his heart by keeping hopes that one day she would come up to him and appologise for being nasty towards him. But that day never arrived. He was in state of losing hope and love had again disappointed him.

After some days, she was back to normal. She spoke to him as if nothing happened. His sorrowful heart was ready to forgive him. He still didn't understand what was wrong with her. He never forced her to share her heart. He was scared to lose her again. Love .. Relationships.. Everything complicated his life

(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness- Part 2

Love had new definition in his life. His friend Danny had referred him to her (the girl of his dream) uncle's food station. He had no idea that she worked as the accountant cum waitress. The first day of his work was great surprise to him. Both were surprised to see each other. As the days passed, they became great buddies at work. He made sure that he was in her good books. He would fulfill all her desires like as if she was his little princess.

He did all her chores when she was in no mood to work. He mopped the floors for her as she hated doing that task.He found ways to be close to her. This was only way he could be close to her. Her smile was enough to make him forget everything.

Her spontaneous and crazy nature clicked him instantly. As soon as they step out of the station, they would indulge in crazy activities. They played around like children of crazy world. Then one fine night , out of blue moon, he slow danced with her. 

His love for her was growing day by day. Unfortunately he never let her know how she felt. He was still unsure about his love for her. Love was filled with complexity. Her random holding of his arm or playfully brushing her cheeks would always raise hopes within him.

He enjoyed spending time with her. She completed the blanks in his life. Whatever he missed in previous relationships, she fulfilled them.

Whenever she spoke to any guy , it made him feel insecure. She was his ' Mona' but did her heart belong to him was unsolved mystery. 

(To be continued)

Summertime Sadness- Part 1

The clock had struck the same time he had first seen her. It was the same season.. the bloody hot summer with temperature soaring to peak high. The sky was cloudless. The sun was gleaming proudly at him, reminding him of the time he wished didn't arrive.

He sat, staring at the ceiling of the old church. It reminded of that unfortunate day. He was waiting for her the same way he was waiting now. Her silence had neither silenced his heart beats nor reduced the hopes. He loved her too much to forget her. She had become a part of his life though he knew nothing about her.

His friends called him love struck. They mocked at him for wasting his time on this one sided love. But he didn't care. He didn't listen to them. He always hoped that one day she will let him into her life. Alas! That day never arrived. The wait continued while she moved on with her life.

She had brightest brown eyes and  sparkling smile that made half people in world go mad. Oh! He could never forget the day when he first saw her walk down aisle as maid of honor to the bride. The plain pink satin dress made her look more beautiful that day. Even the bride was sidelined by her beauty. Her dark black hair was braided perfectly, making her face clearly visible to eyes of her admirers. Her dusky skin tempted him to at least touch her once. 

He had lost his heart at first sight. Every time he walked up to her to talk to her, he developed cold feet. She was always surrounded by people. She was popular unlike him. He was just a nobody in her world. But that didn't stop him from pursuing her.

That day finally came when he approached her with confidence to only to be her friend. Anyway, at least it was beginning to new relationship. Sometimes he wondered whether he was too lucky to hail from the same state as she was. Maybe god had some plans for them. Maybe she was the one. After many failed relationships, he was ready for the girl who had stolen his heart at first sight.

(To be continued)