He left us for good. My life took a pause. I started to stay away from people. I loved long lonely walks to places unknown. I started writing poems about unrequited love. Words poured out in form of stories or poems. People liked it. But they didn't understand the pain.
Sad songs became part of my life. I made sure my silent cries were unheard.The pause was only for few months. As soon as I graduated and got my first job, I got busy with work. New friends came in and my life was back to normal. There were days when I would think about him. I would call those days as blue days.
I hid my pain inside my heart for two years. I searched for him in men I met. I searched for him in my friends I made. I couldn't find him anywhere. I would snoop around his pictures in Facebook.
He was happy with his new found friends. The USA became his new found love. He seemed to enjoy life unlike me. Obviously he had no idea about my secret admiration for him. I would think if he ever got to know how much I loved him, would he stay for me? Then my conscious would scold me for being too unrealistic. Why would he ever leave his ambitions for me?
On new years eve, I made the biggest mistake. I shouldn't have. I should have listened to my conscious that was preventing me to make that mistake. Why? Oh Why did I listen to my heart? It all started when my friends and I planned for new year (only girls) party at a club. I was totally excited with idea of getting drunk. That was first mistake I did. We danced and got drunk.
It was first time I got drunk. My mind was blurred. My heart was beating faster. I didn't know what I was doing. I opened my Facebook app on my phone. I checked the messenger and saw he was online. I pinged him without thinking the consequences. "You have forgotten me. But I haven't.", I messaged him. There was no reply. I felt my whole body shiver. What was doing? Anyway I felt excited and cool.
(To be continued)
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