The marital conditions - Part 1

It was Sunday afternoon. It wasn't usual weekend afternoon for Tia. Mostly her Sunday afternoon would be spent on the bed with her best friend - laptop. But today was different. Her sister Mikha and brother in law Manav agreed to meet her boyfriend Suhail after long argue-discussion session. She was excited as well as nervous. She hoped that everything would go smoothly as planned. 

"Where is Suhail?", she wondered. He was supposed to be here now. She looked at the time and then at her brother in law. Suhail always did this. He never made it on time during all the occasions. After two long hours and Mikha's never ending cribbing, he arrived. Tia sighed. 

Tia peeped outside to confirm whether it was him. She was relieved that he had at least made sure to look good and arrive in his friend's royal black Mercedes. She wanted him to convince her sister and brother in law as a man who will take care of all her needs. She believed that at least his physical appearance would 50% convince them. It was easy to convince her sister but not her brother in law.

She was first to reach to the main door to welcome him. She quickly hugged him before they arrived. They took him into their sitting area. There was pin drop silence for few minutes except for the eye contact between Tia and Suhail. 

Then Manav spoke. His voice was firm and serious. "I reckon that you must have been stuck in traffic.", Manav said. It seemed like question rather than statement. He loved to use the old english words even though he had limited knowledge of them. He felt that it showed his class and status. 

"Yes! The traffic is terrible nowadays.", Suhail said nervously. Suhail was aware of Manav's hatred towards him. He knew that Manav always wanted a classy husband for his sister in law. According to Manav, Suhail didn't match anywhere. "How am I convince him?", Suhail said.

(To be continued)

A second chance ? - Part 6

I still carried my past. I couldn't accept anything. His family or him. Every time I tried, I failed. Love never happened to me because I was never out of love with my past. I always compared my past with my present. Maybe I was never in present. I longed for my past.

My husband loved me. He did everything possible only to get my attention and love. But I couldn't change. Love just didn't happen. My heart was still beating for that boy who broke my heart. Why? Why couldn't I simply move on?  Why did I long for that boy to come back?  

After two and half years, my husband stopped trying. He still loved me. But he was disappointed. I couldn't give him anything. The only thing I gave him was pain. He had waited so long for me to change.  His patience wore out but his hope never died. He still hoped that I would give him one more chance to show me love.

I was cold. I had no love to give except for my first love. Whatever my husband did, I couldn't express my gratitude for it. I never felt happy with whatever he did for me. My complaints turned into nagging with every passing day. We were strangers who fought during time when we were together instead of making love. 

When he learnt about my past, he was mad. He would blame me sometimes about me ruining his life. I don't feel guilty. I feel sorry for him. I hurt him even though it wasn't his mistake. Strange! When love was waiting at my doorstep, I wasn't ready. 

They say second chances come once in blue moon. I was indeed fortunate to get one. But I was naive to not to believe in it.  Here I am , still unsure whether to take it or leave it. I want to go back to clean the mess I had done and accept my husband. But it is too late and I haven't confronted my insecurities yet. The bell rings. It is my husband, I know. The same drama would start again. I know I have to change and I need to begin somewhere to initiate this change. When is the question. I open the door and look at his brown eyes. I hesitate to begin my move. After few long minutes, I hug him and say, " I am sorry. Give me a second chance. Let's start again.

****  The End  *****

  

The Second Chance? - Part 5

The second chapter of my life. I never thought about this and it began when I hadn't finished the previous one. I was trying to get over the pain. I had almost gotten out of my shelf. I was getting used to my surrounding. I was trying to be more human.

I was introduced to my future husband. He was perfect. He was my dad's friend's son. He was polite. He was gentle. He was everything that any girl would want her right man to be. But I wasn't still ready to leave my past. I wasn't still ready to give love second chance. My heart was in pieces. How was I going to believe in love again?

I didn't expect our weekend getaway to be chance for my family to discuss about the prospective alliances. So when I was alone with my mum, we argued on this issue, " Why didn't you ask me about this before deciding about my marriage?" "Well! We haven't still decided anything else. We are not going to force you into marriage. But before you decide, why don't you at least spend time with him?", my mum said. "How can I decide within few meetings? I am still not ready for this. I don't know him well.", I said. " Meet him first. Decide later.", she said.

I couldn't argue more. I met him. He seemed good.  I agreed for the marriage without even thinking whether I was really ready for love. Why? I have no answer. I feel guilty for rushing in things and taking hasty decision.  We were married within few months.

Everything seemed smooth during the first few months before wedding. He seemed to be in love with me. But I still felt incomplete... something was missing. I couldn't love him the way I used to love my first love. My husband was better than any man I had ever loved. But I wasn't still able to completely give myself to him.

Love was missing in our relationship. After two and half years, we are still standing at the same place as strangers. Nothing changed between us. We were strangers to each others while a couple to outside world.

(To be continued)

The Second Chance ? - Part 4

Families especially mums are best at sniffing when something is not right in your life. I still don't get about her 'something's wrong sniffing ' expertise. Anyway I was going on about my life. However my mum's constant inquiring about my life and problems made me manipulate the real problem of my life.

I told her a story of  stressful work life and how I craved for a holiday. It was half truth. Work was stressful but it was only time I didn't think about him. It was only time when I was focused on the something else in my life. All I wanted is to get away from him. I don't know why I end up thinking about him when I tried to move on and forget him.

My mum smiled. She said, " I know what you need." I was shocked. My heart stopped beating at a point. I thought," You know what I need?" with my eyes wide open. "You need a pampering time. I know a place where we can get you pampered and rejuvenated. Maybe we will get our fun loving daughter back.", she said.

I sighed. I was hoping that someone knew what I was going through without me having to say anything. But my mum isn't God. How would she know what her daughter was going through? I didn't want her to know what I was going through. I don't think she would take the news in good way.She was conservative even though she was caring and amazing woman.

So we planned our weekend getaway. The place she spoke to us was dad's friend's estate. It was situated in the mountainous range. It took us 6 hours to reach our destination. The place was cool and peaceful unlike our city life. We were spending three days in this heaven.

We were greeted warmly by Dad's friend and his family. His friend spoke greatly about their( Dad and his) rendezvous in this town. In those three days, we were treated with love and care. It was indeed a change for me. But this was just a beginning.. a beginning of second chapter that I didn't know , would happen. I wasn't ready yet for one more meltdown.

(To be continued)

The Second Chance ? - Part 3

Words speak louder than actions. True! My words spoke louder and also slapped me back. Yes! The wise men did say it right- Never do things when you are drunk. Well! I jumped into a trap I made. I was foolish to break my own heart.

My excitement increased when I spilled my feelings out. I called him. He didn't pick the call. But it didn't hurt me when a female voice spoke," Hi, he isn't here." It hurt me more when I could hear his voice clearly from the background. He was talking about me, " Ah! That girl again! I don't understand why is she so clingy?" I was disappointed. I shouldn't have done all this drama to hear him say that.

Disappointment and heartbroken, I continued with the party. I pretended I was alright. But I wasn't deep inside. I truly loved him. But it was my mistake I didn't let it go of my feelings for him. He was still special for me.

I fell down. I got up. I rubbed  the dirt out off my soiled soul. I continued with my life with a broken heart. I concentrated on other relationships ,career and writing. Though first two didn't help in erasing my pain. But writing was medicine to my wounded heart.

Pressure in work, relationship breakdown and depression was common to me. It didn't hurt me. I was unaffected by them. I kept myself busy with life. I didn't wanted to get involved with thoughts about him.

Life had become boring and monotonous. Nothing amazed me. I didn't enjoy life like I used to.  I was like a zombie. My mum smelled something fishy going on with me. So did the whole family.



(To be continued)

The Second Chance ?- Part 2

He left us for good. My life took a pause. I started to stay away from people. I loved long lonely walks to places unknown. I started writing poems about unrequited love. Words poured out in form of stories or poems. People liked it. But they didn't understand the pain.

Sad songs became part of my life. I made sure my silent cries were unheard.The pause was only for few months. As soon as I graduated and got my first job, I got busy with work. New friends came in and my life was back to normal. There were days when I would think about him. I would call those days as blue days.

I hid my pain inside my heart for two years. I searched for him in men I met. I searched for him in my friends I made. I couldn't find him anywhere. I would snoop around his pictures in Facebook.

He was happy with his new found friends. The USA became his new found love. He seemed to enjoy life unlike me. Obviously he had no idea about my secret admiration for him. I would think if he ever got to know how much I loved him, would he stay for me? Then my conscious would scold me for being too unrealistic. Why would he ever leave his ambitions for me?

On new years eve, I made the biggest mistake. I shouldn't have. I should have listened to my conscious that was preventing me to make that mistake. Why? Oh Why did I listen to my heart? It all started when my friends and I planned for new year (only girls) party at a club. I was totally excited with idea of getting drunk. That was first mistake I did. We danced and got drunk.

It was first time I got drunk. My mind was blurred. My heart was beating faster. I didn't know what I was doing. I opened my Facebook app on my phone. I checked the messenger and saw he was online. I pinged him without thinking the consequences. "You have forgotten me. But I haven't.", I messaged him. There was no reply. I felt my whole body shiver. What was doing? Anyway I felt excited and cool.

(To be continued)

A Second Chance?- Part 1

It's been a long time since I have written a story.. A story .. A tale of mended love,broken hearts, long distance love and unrequited love. What shall I write today? I have no clue. My mind is blank yet it is filled with words that are scattered everywhere.

"What shall I write?", my mind ponders. A story about a girl crushed in love falls in the same trap again. Hmm.. nice plot indeed. It's my story. I sip my coffee as I travel back to time - three years back when I was broken and lost.

Three years! I am still there with painful past and broken heart. I had loved him. But God had made his own plans. He made my love seems so little like the teenage fantasy. I felt naive to believe in love. It took few seconds for the reality to set in. The boy I loved didn't love me. I was one of his fans. He broke my heart like he did with the other girls.

It was midnight. I was at his place. His mum had organised a party. He wasn't there. I had anxiously waited for him to join. It was boring to be the only youngster amongst the oldies. I dreaded the thought of being here. But mum hadn't listened to me. She had pulled me to his place.

Ah! It was the worst new years eve of my life. The hours seemed like years. The patience in me had died out. I was love wrecked. I only wanted to see him and share my love with him. It was 12 AM. My prince charming arrived. I felt like Cinderella. I only wanted to hold him, touch him , hug him tight and never let him go.

But all my desires flew away when he announced joyfully that he was leaving us for good. He had got admission at MIT. My dreams were shattered. I was heartbroken... Well! My mind had told me to stay away from him. I ignored my mind and followed my heart. I felt weak and embarrased to even stay there. How was I going to congratulate him ? He was going to be faraway from me.

(To be continued)