Consensual-part 29

Eight months had passed in its own pace. It didnt make any difference. My due date was nearing. I was excited as well as emotional. However both the feelings made me impatient about the time when my child would open her eyes to whole new world. Her eyes- Yeah it would a girl. I knew! I would see the sonographic video of my baby.

I had no expectation what baby I wanted. I just wanted my bundle of joy to be healthy and sound. Well! She would be lucky enough to have a nice family. But I pray that she wouldn’t have to see her monstrous dad. Fortunately his presence became lesser day by day. However she didnt require him when teddy bear a.k.a Shaunik was there as a father figure.

I took half day at office. I wanted to buy some things for my kid. Reena accompanied me to the nearby mall. We looked into many shops. I didn’t find anything good until I saw a white frock that was made for just born. It would perfectly fit her. We bought it. As I walked out of shop to see what else I could buy. Something struck me. I couldn’t move.

I saw Praveen and Aarti walk hand in hand. My heart stopped beating for a minute. I was numb. Tell me god, this was not real. I wish it was a dream. I wish it disappeared when I close my eyes. But nothing changed when I opened and closed my eyes. It was same. How could he break my heart again and again? This time I was shattered.

I didn’t realise that I was walking towards them. It didn’t much time. Everything happened quickly.  I slapped Aarti hard and grabbed her by pulling her hair and pushed her with all my force. She fell on the ground. It attracted people from the mall. Reena tried to control the situation. But I ruined it with my anger. “ How dare you spoil my life? How can you do this to your own sister? As for you, my darling husband, you crumbled my feelings like a waste paper. You showed me what is my worth. Thanks!”, I screamed.

Unfortunately I don’t know whether it impacted them but it caused my water to break. My due date was supposed to be in two weeks. Maybe my child didn’t want to see her mother suffer more and planned to come out now. Anyway I was in pain - both emotionally and physically. Everyone around me looked distraught especially my husband. This was a surprise. He carried me to his car and drove as fast as he could to the nearby maternity hospital.

(To be continued)

Consensual- Part 28

I would become really absorbed into my world when I was left alone. But my family made sure that I was not left alone for long time. They would pamper me and induce positive energy around me. The only time I felt lonely was when I was with Praveen and during work.

Praveen was still the same. He didn’t accept our unborn kid. Right! He was irresponsible and why would he take the responsibility of his child? Unfortunately I loved him even though he was such a pain. My love for him was so true and real. Why didn’t he recognise that? When would that time come where he would shower all his love to his child and me? Would that time ever come? I doubt that!

Love makes you do impossible things. I was ready to keep his child in my womb even when I bore his pain. Even grievous criminal gets one more chance. Why didn’t I get one? I wish he gave me one chance to show him how much I loved him. I really missed those days when he was so nice and charming. God! How I wish those days come back when he would speak sweet words to me.

“ Hi! Wake up!”, a masculine voice said, while nudging my arm. I opened my eyes to see that I had slept on my desk. I looked at the person who was shaking me from my sleep. It was that good samaritan a.k.a teddy bear. I smiled and said, “ Thanks!” “ No prob! You looked famished! Did you have lunch?”, he asked with concern. I bent down, thinking about what excuse to give.

He understood that I didn’t have lunch. “Come ! Let’s grab lunch for you. You shouldn’t be starving in such condition. Your kid needs proper nutrition.”, he advised. I was surprised about how he knew I was pregnant. I got up from my seat and followed him to canteen located outside the office. I didn't get up because I had to but I got up due to hunger. I had to energise myself back.

As I was having my lunch, he made sure that I finished last bit of food in my plate. I was quite full with so much of food. “ I might sleep again after having so much. God! I hate you!”, I joked. “ Madam! You need to have food for two person. My cousin would have twice the quantity that you had. This is nothing!”, he said playfully. “ Did my father in law appointed you as my food supervisor?”, I joked again. “ Yes and from now on I will make sure you don’t starve.”, he said. We both bursted into laughter. I was surprised that I was laughing so effortlessly. It had been so long since I laughed or smiled.

(To be continued)

Consensual - part 27

Praveen looked red faced. I wasn't sure he was angry or embarrassed. Whatever was his reaction, I knew he wouldn't accept my child. I was sitting on the couch with face bent. I didn't want to meet his eyes.

"What!! How could you? I am definitely not going to accept this! You and your kid don't belong to me. You were never my responsibility and you were just forced onto me.", he said, hurting me more.

Why did it hurt? He was right. I was a burden to him and with this kid, I was adding more trouble to him. I felt more guilty. As he threw insults after insults, I became smaller and smaller in his eyes.

I had to clear my mind. The only way was work. Work indeed helped me to ease out. I headed to office after protesting long with Reena and ma. I put my all attention into work and didn't raise up untill lunch.

I ate my lunch alone. I had become loner type of person since I got married. The only people I freely spoke were Reena and ma. I was having lunch when I felt someone occupy a chair next to up. I looked up to see pair of chocolate brown eyes staring at me. I felt embarrassed. No one had stared so deeply into me.

"Hi, how are you?", he asked in polite voice. It took me sometime to realise that it was him who had grabbed when I almost fainted. I smiled and said, " yes, I am fine." I stared at him to get clear picture of him. He was tall and large. He resembled like huge teddy bear. He had chubby face that was filled with innocence and care. I had finished my lunch and quietly got up without telling him bye.

(To be continued)

Consensual - part 26

I opened my eyes. I was at home in my bed. Ma was sitting next to me, caressing my head. Reena bought soup and lunch. I could see father in law talking to doctor in the end.

I tried to get up. But I fell on my back. My energy was diminished. "How are you feeling, darling?", ma asked. "Feeling fine, ma" I said weakly. "Don't tell me you are fine. You don't look one inch fine to me. From now on, I will supervise your eating schedule. Mind you! I am going to be strict with you!", Reena said.

I smiled sheepishly. Your health becomes half better when you have your family to support you. I was quite relaxed after having lunch. "Well! Good news finally! I am really proud of you, Shruti.", father in law said.

I was perplexed. What did he mean by good news? What did I do to make him feel proud of me? I didn't know. Maybe it was about work. " Shruti is pregnant!" I was shocked. How could that be possible?

I thought it was amenorrhea. I wanted to check up with the doctor. I would always postpone it due to work. I also blamed it on my irregular appetite.  Though I was relieved, I was disappointed. I didn't want the reason to be pregnancy.

Kid! No I can't bear his child. This child would never have father whom he/she could look upto. It was better if my child never came to this world. He/ she would only witness grief and sorrow. I wondered about how would Praveen take in the news. I was sure he would be devasted.

(To be continued)

Consensual - part 25

Love was never for me. It would never be. When was I going to realise the bloody bitter fact? Everytime I hoped, it would end in disaster.

I was very angry... Angry at him, angry at myself and everyone including god. Why did God do this to me? Why does he fool me every time with false hopes?

Few weeks had passed. I tried to put that incident back of my head. But it would replay again and again. I would put my attention into work, trying to forget. Well! God damn heart! Never let's you forget a thing.

I hardly saw him. I had shifted to Reena akka's room next day. But I didn't tell anyone about the real reason. Initially Ma and Reena didn't confront about my sudden plan to shift. Later they became a bit suspicious and started interrogating me. Anyway, I didn't dwell them about our passionate night.

I hadn't eaten for few days. Food seemed bland. I would make excuse of late night work. I was becoming this workaholic machine. I didn't want to come home. I would spend hours at office and sometime I would spend my night there. Unfortunately father in law would face the brunt. He would get the scoldings from ma for overworking me.

It was usual day for me. I missed my breakfast and lunch. Hunger pangs stopped bothering me. I required few information that father in law had about some files. I was walking into his cabin. Suddenly I felt the world turning around. I almost tripped but a good samatarian grabbed me in his burly arms. I tried to look at him. But weakness had taken a toll on me. My eyes were closing and everything was fading into darkness.

(To be continued)

Consensual- part 24

I was in cloud nine. I never expected that he would want me so badly. Did he feel the way I felt about him? I know it was weird to believe in love again. It would be foolish to expect things to change for better. But I didn't mind.

I didn't want the night to get over too soon. I wanted to hold the sweet memories back and never let them fade. Why can't happiness stay bit longer? Why does it shy away from me?

Love! Love makes you so crazy and weak. His one touch had taken me to impossible heights. I had started dreaming those impossible desires.

"Aarti.. My sweet Aarti!", he called out the name. Aarti! Why was he calling me Aarti? After few minutes later, it struck me. He didn't need me. He saw Aarti in me. He was so intoxicated by the drink that he couldn't distinguish between fantasy and reality.

I should have understood that he was never mine. He never loved me. The fact that I knew but put blind eye to it. Sign! This is what happen whenever I start to expect things from undeserving people. I pushed him away from him in disgust. It shook him a bit. However he got back to sleep.

I rushed to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and cried my heart out. God! Why it had to be me? Why was I doomed to have loveless life? I quickly poured the water in the bucket. Once it was full, I poured it on me. I was cleansing myself from the fantasy that I created some time ago.

(To be continued)

Consensual- part 23

I was crushed into his embrace. My heart was melting for him even though he broke my heart several times. I wanted him to never leave me ever. I wish he held me tight.

I tried to come to my sense. But it became impossible for me to overlook this heavenly emotion. He released me a bit and cupped my face. He pressed his lip onto mine. This time it was soft and gentle.

My desire was amplified with every touch of his. It bought a tantalising effect to my body. My heart was beating faster at every second. How can anyone feel two emotions at one time? I felt angry and happy at the same time.

He pushed me to the bed. I froze when he forced himself into me. I was suffocated but I liked it. I didn't resist him. I let him to play with my senses and body.

Pain had become pleasure. What controlled us was lustful indulgence... Maybe it was for him but for me it was more than indulgence. I had given everything that I had to him. I was truly , deeply and madly belonged to him. And I was always his since the time I laid my eyes on him.

He was inside me. His touch increasingly moved all over my body. I felt him exploring my sensuality. I didn't understand why he wanted me tonight when he hated me so much. I was confused and the hope that had died long back revived.

( to be continued)